Ain't Too Proud to Beg
by arwen2117
Summary: CJ and Toby are now engaged. Harsh words are exchanged and the future of their relationship hangs in the balance. Can Toby put his pride aside for the love of his life?


Ain't Too Proud to Beg  
  
Summary: CJ and Toby are now engaged. But the greatest obstacle lies ahead and it's not the questions from their friends or the press. After a difficult day at the office and an unintentional slip; harsh words are exchanged between the loving couple. Now the future of their wedding and relationship hangs in the balance. Toby will have to swallow his pride in order to keep CJ. But will he be able to do it? And will she forgive him? Author: Liz Rating: PG Couples: Toby/CJ Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They are the property of Sorkin, Wells, NBC, or someone else much more powerful than me. No infringement is ever intended. Feedback: Welcomed, always- arwen2117@yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Arggh," CJ groaned as she woke up to the alarm that morning.  
  
As she reached to turn it off on the nightstand, she ended up knocking over a lamp where the alarm normally was. She opened one eye and peeked around the room. She wasn't in her bedroom at her apartment. She glanced down and saw the ring on her left ring finger, and the events of last night came rushing back to her mind. She turned over and saw her dark-haired, bearded fiancé stirring beside her.  
  
"Toby, I've got to go," she said softly but loud enough to hopefully wake him out of his slumber.  
  
"Just five more minutes," he mumbled, still not fully awake.  
  
"No Toby, now. I have to go back to my apartment and change or else I'll have more to explain than just our engagement."  
  
"Then just give me ten minutes and I'll go with you. If you are going to have face the firing squad also known as our colleagues, I might as well be there too, I'm just as much a guilty party as you. And by the way, while Josh knows about the dinner, I didn't tell him about the ring."  
  
"Really? That's good to know. Now hurry up, so we can get going."  
  
Toby grabbed a quick shower and threw on a suit and tie. While he was in the shower, CJ scavenged around his kitchen and made some toast and coffee for them to eat on the way to her place. He hailed a cab outside his building, and they set off for CJ's apartment. Once they got there, CJ showered and changed into a fresh pantsuit. While he waited for her to finish, Toby sat in her living room and contemplated how much his life had changed in just a matter of a night. He was now engaged to the most beautiful and enchanting woman he had ever met. And for the first time in a long time, he was truly happy.  
  
"Okay, I've put on my Kevlar vest, let the shoot out begin," CJ quipped as she stepped out her bedroom.  
  
She was wearing a pale yellow pantsuit with a robin's egg blue shirt underneath and a camisole. She was wearing a delicate necklace and of course, the ring on her finger. She seemed to glow and Toby smiled knowing that he was the reason for that glow.  
  
"Alright, you sure that you want to tell people today? We could keep it just between us for a few days," Toby asked as he drew her in for a quick kiss before walking out together to the street.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. They'll have to find out sooner or later and it will probably be sooner since you'll have that smile plastered on your face all day," she said.  
  
They walked quickly to the office and paused briefly outside the entrance. They gave each a quick peck and took each other's hand before entering the West Wing.  
  
"Into the lion's den," he said.  
  
"Tell me about it. Let's just go about our usual business. If anyone asks anything, tell them the truth. Otherwise, wait and see if anyone asks during senior staff. We'll make an announcement then and just take one step at time after that."  
  
"Sounds good. I'll see you at senior staff."  
  
The two parted ways and headed to their respective offices. Toby asked Ginger for his schedule and headed into his office to read a few files that he had left last night. Sensing a presence at the entryway, Toby looked up and saw Josh standing there with a huge grin on his face.  
  
"So?" Josh asked dying to know how the dinner went, unaware of what events had actually transpired.  
  
"It went better than expected," Toby said, barely containing his urge to shout out his news.  
  
"That's great Toby. You two make a great couple. Sarcastic, but great."  
  
"Thank you, Josh. I've got a pile of work left over from last night, including the President's speech for the Governor's Ball, so I'll see you at senior staff."  
  
"Okay."  
  
***  
  
"Toby, how's the speech going for the Governor's Ball?" Bartlet asked during the morning staff meeting.  
  
"I've gotten a first draft done, sir. I should be able to get a copy on your desk by this afternoon."  
  
CJ and Toby had been stealing glances at each other since the meeting had begun. CJ had covered her left hand with her right one, trying not to call attention to her ring. But President Bartlet, as usual, noticed that something was going on between the two of them. But he waited until almost the end of the meeting before he mentioned it.  
  
"So, CJ is anything there you would like to share with us?" Bartlet asked just as they were wrapping up.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"I've noticed that you have conspicuously been hiding your left hand the entire meeting. And I was wondering if you had a reason to explain this behavior."  
  
"Yes, sir, I do have an explanation," she replied as she moved her hand to reveal her ring.  
  
"My, this is a surprise, may I ask who the lucky fellow is?"  
  
"It's Toby, sir."  
  
"Really? Well, that's an interesting development. Have you two been secretly carrying on a romantic relationship while no one was looking?"  
  
"Actually sir, this all happened last night. However, before coming together professionally for Bartlet for America, CJ and I were romantically involved for a time. Once I realized that she still loved me, I intended to not waste any more time. So last night, over dinner, I proposed and she has accepted," Toby interjected, helping CJ.  
  
Everyone just sat there for a moment staring at the couple. Bartlet leaned against the edge of his desk with a small smirk on his face, as if he knew all along that Toby and CJ would end up together. Leo just stood there with his mouth open in disbelief that a relationship between two of his staffers managed to slip past him. Josh sat in a chair kind of sullen due to the fact that Toby hadn't told him when they had been scheming. Sam just sat there confused, not really sure of what was going on. After the moment passed, smiles broke out across everyone's face and they all stood up to congratulate the couple on their wonderful news.  
  
"Congratulations, you two. I always thought there was something going on between the two of you. I'm glad to know that my sense of these things was right," Bartlett said as he hugged CJ and shook Toby's hand.  
  
"Congratulations, Toby. You're getting the greatest lady in the entire city and make sure that you treat her right," Josh stated, completely forgetting about getting duped, "And CJ, you've got your hands full trying to tame Toby, but I'm sure you'll do fine."  
  
"Thanks, Josh," they both replied.  
  
Sam gave his regards and went over to hug CJ and shake Toby's hand. The President ended the meeting and everyone started to empty out of the room, but Leo hung back and gestured for Toby and CJ to follow him into his office. They followed and shut the door behind them, not knowing exactly what to expect from the Chief of Staff.  
  
"First, let me offer you both my warmest wishes on your engagement and pending wedding. It couldn't happen to two better people. But I brought you both in here so we can discuss strategy for dealing with the press and the public. It's not any of their business, so naturally everyone will want to know the details, and I was wondering how you guys would like to handle this," Leo asked.  
  
"Well, we were thinking about releasing the news today and filling them in with details as they come up without sacrificing our privacy," CJ offered.  
  
"And there is no way to get around not telling the press, considering CJ's wearing a ring on her left hand. The two of us decided that sooner was better, before a rumor mill could start," Toby added.  
  
"So how would the two of you like to handle the press conference?" Leo asked, nodded affirmatively at their suggestion to telling the press soon.  
  
"I figured we do it at the last briefing today at five, I would go through the news of the day and then I would announce it to the press. Toby would then join me at the podium and we'd answer questions," CJ replied as Toby nodded in agreement.  
  
"Sounds good. But until, I'd like to tell as few people as possible before that," Leo said.  
  
They left Leo's office and breathed a sigh of relief knowing that at least their friends knew what was going on. As they walked back to the Bullpen, CJ and Toby reeled at how much their lives had changed in a matter of hours. Toby went to his office to hammer out the last of the speech for the President and CJ went to hers to review the statistics for the FEC regulations before her briefing at nine that morning.  
  
The rest of the morning went smoothly. Staffers came into both Toby and CJ's offices to offer their congratulations on their forthcoming nuptials. Toby got the first draft to the President as promised, who proceeded to change everything that Toby had so meticulously written. CJ made it through her other briefings and meetings without raising too much suspicions from the press. However, by four, Carol told CJ that some the reporters, especially Danny, were starting to ask questions about her ring. CJ told Carol to tell them that if they had any questions, they would be handled in the five o'clock briefing.  
  
"You ready to go sweetheart?" Toby asked when he came around her door at 4:45.  
  
"Sure. Just let me grab my briefing notes and we can head out. By the way, I like that you call me sweetheart around the office," she said.  
  
She gave him a quick peck on the lips and they left to head over to the Press Room where Carol was announcing that the briefing was about to start. Toby squeezed her hand right before she entered the room. She took a deep breath and entered the room.  
  
"Everyone, I'm going to keep this short so that you guys can hopefully start your weekend at little early. The President is going to up Manchester this weekend. He will be accompanied by the Assistant Secretary of Agriculture and the Secretary of Indian Affairs,"  
  
"CJ, can you tell us what the President will be discussing with them?" a reporter asked.  
  
"I assume something dealing with agriculture and Indians, Bob."  
  
"Wheels down is scheduled for 10:15, so that means that it will probably more around 11:30."  
  
The corps chuckled.  
  
"Copies of the speech for the Governor's Ball should be made available for you on Monday and the dinner for the Premier of Austria has been cancelled."  
  
"CJ, why was it cancelled?  
  
"I was just getting to that. It was cancelled because the Premier has come down with pneumonia and is unable to make the trip. The dinner will be re- scheduled when he was recovered."  
  
"Do you know when that'll be?"  
  
"Probably sometime in late April, early May. I'll find out and get back to you with that information."  
  
"CJ, can explain why you are wearing a diamond ring on your left hand? Are now engaged? And if you are, who is the lucky guy?" Danny asked, cutting right to the question CJ was sure most of the press was asking themselves.  
  
CJ glanced over to see that Toby was in the room ready to come up to the podium.  
  
"Actually, Danny, that was my last item. Yes, I am now engaged. The lucky guy is White House Communications Director, Toby Ziegler. He will now join me at the podium and we will take any of the questions that you might have."  
  
Toby walked up and took CJ's hand and turned to face a stunned and fervent press corps.  
  
"When did you two of you meet?"  
  
"Many years before joining the Bartlet campaign. At Berkeley in California."  
  
"When did the engagement happen?"  
  
"Last night at Mr. Ziegler's apartment."  
  
"How long have you two been an item?"  
  
"Despite dating briefly when we first met, we have not been romantically involved until our engagement. However, we have always been the best of friends."  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, that's all for right now, but the Press Office will release a statement giving details surrounding the engagement and be assured that you will be kept up to date on any details for the wedding," CJ stated, putting a quick end to the briefing.  
  
CJ and Toby left the Press Room and breathed a sigh of relief once they got back to CJ's office.  
  
"Well, that went well. They didn't eviscerate us, but I'm sure we left them with more questions than answers," Toby commented.  
  
"I'm sure we did, but they will just have to wait for the rest of the story. I'd like to keep what little is left of my life private," CJ remarked before giving him a short kiss on the lips.  
  
Toby smiled and then pulled her in for a deeper one, not feeling the least bit self-conscious that everyone in office could see. He was too happy to care and that was all that mattered.  
  
Once they broke apart, CJ glanced around to see that a few staffers glancing over with sly smiles, as if they knew a secret no one else did. CJ closed the door, smiling back at them. They both sat on the couch and took a few moments to reflect upon what just happened in the Press Room and in their lives.  
  
"So we need to start planning this wedding thing?" CJ queried after a few moments of silence.  
  
"Yes, we do, but not right now, I have to get back to revising Sam's language in the Governor's speech. How about we discuss it tonight over some Thai take out?" Toby replied.  
  
CJ nodded and returned to her work at her desk. Once the door had shut behind Toby, her face broke out into a small smile and she hoped that the rest of the day would go by quickly because she was looking forward to Thai food that night.  
  
***  
  
2 months later,  
  
"CJ!" Toby bellowed from his doorway.  
  
CJ walked past a few moments later, looking more stressed than usual. The wedding planning had been taking its toll on her. Carol and Toby tried to be helpful by taking some of the more minor details of the wedding, but she was still feeling the stress just the same. And with Toby bellowing around the office, her blood pressure rose and she was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.  
  
"What?!" CJ shouted back, exasperated.  
  
"The caterer keeps calling, asking if we want the seafood menu or the chicken menu. Which one did we decide on?" Toby replied, looking genuinely perplexed.  
  
"Toby, you scored in the top percentile on your SATs and you can't remember something as simple as a menu selection for your own wedding?" CJ replied, pinching the bridge of her nose trying in vain to stop her blistering headache.  
  
"I've had more important matters on my mind, such starting on the first draft of the State of the Union," he stated.  
  
"Well, I shouldn't have to remember everything. We are a couple and this wedding is for both of us. So all I'm asking for is a little bit of help from my future husband!" She screamed right before bursting into tears.  
  
Toby immediately felt guilty. He hadn't meant to snap at her about the wedding. They both already had high stress jobs; moving into together after the engagement and the planning of the wedding had stressed out the both of them. Toby had tried to lighten the load but with the wedding three weeks away, CJ's stress level had gone through the roof. Her skin had taken on a sallow cast and dark circles were perpetually present under her eyes.  
  
"I remember.we decided on seafood. I'll call the caterer straight away. Sorry about that early. How about I cook us a special dinner tonight? We can watch some old black and white movie and fall asleep on the couch."  
  
"Sounds good. I'll get back to work now. Don't forget to call the caterer," she replied, turning to leave still feeling a little hurt by Toby's yelling.  
  
The rest of the morning went fairly well until CJ went to do her afternoon briefing. After clearing up a few items that had come up that morning, CJ opened the floor to questions.  
  
"CJ, I've got a statement from the Houston Chronicle quoting Senator Robbins as saying that any attempt by the White House to introduce a Medicare pharmacy bill would be log jammed in committee. What is the response of the White House to this statement? Is there a push by the White House to reform Medicare?" Katie asked.  
  
CJ was stunned. She was not aware of any statement by the Senator concerning Medicare. She wasn't even aware the Medicare was a prime issue that they would be pushing up on the Hill. She collected her thoughts quickly and formulated a response.  
  
"Well, I am not aware of any present bill concerning Medicare being supported by the White House, but I'll look into it and get back to you. But I will tell you that if there was such a bill, I would expect that Democrats in the Senate would fully support it."  
  
"CJ, how are the wedding plans going?"  
  
"They are going well, as everyone should already be aware the non- denominational ceremony will take place in the Rose Garden of the White House. The colors are navy and cream with the bridesmaids being Donna, Margaret, and Carol. The groomsmen will be Josh Lyman, Sam Seaborn, and Charlie Young. Yes, this is White House affair through and through. The President shall be given the bride away, as my father has surgery scheduled which he can not cancel. The press will be allowed at the ceremony, but the reception will be private. Thank you and any other questions will answer at the six o'clock briefing."  
  
CJ ended the briefing quickly and headed straight to Leo's office to find out about the Robbins quote. But before she could get there, Toby intercepted her.  
  
"What the hell was that, CJ? How did this quote slip past the Press Office! Robbins is a very influential member of Congress and we need him on any number of issues, including the new crime bill that we just sent to the Hill. Calling him unsupportive on television is probably not the best way to regain his vote!" Toby spit out at her, positively steaming out the ears.  
  
Something inside of CJ snapped. She was already at her wit's end and as soon as Toby started yelling at her, she decided that she had had enough of his ranting. But right now, she needed to talk to Leo.  
  
"Listen I will deal with you in good time, Toby, but at this moment I need to go talk to Leo so, get the hell out of my way!" CJ snapped as she pushed her way past Toby.  
  
She reached Leo's office and closed the door hard. She knew Leo would be mad but hopefully more rational than Toby had been a minute ago.  
  
"CJ." Leo started with a stern tone.  
  
"I know Leo. This completely slipped past us."  
  
"So how do you plan to fix this?"  
  
"I'll confirm the quote and report to the press that the White House is hoping for the continued support for the current legislation making its way through committee on the Hill and plans to work with Democratic and Republican leadership to create new laws that will continue to help the citizens of this country," CJ replied, finally regaining control of her temper.  
  
"Sounds good," Leo said, nodding in agreement with her statement, "Be sure to get the press focused back on the crime legislation."  
  
"Yes. Thank you, Leo," CJ said as she exited the office.  
  
She turned on her heel with her anger brewing back up to a boil. She made a beeline for Toby's office to give him a piece of her mind.  
  
"How dare you reprimand me in front of the entire Bullpen! I'm not stupid, Toby. I know what Robbins means to the White House and this administration. I made a mistake and was going to Leo's office to straighten it out. The last thing I needed was you telling me things I already know!" CJ screamed, almost on the brink of tears.  
  
Toby was dumbfounded and his anger got the best of him. So he proceeded to yell back at CJ, even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was wrong.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't have had to yell, if the your office hadn't let the quote slip by! We are doing important things here, we don't need to bogged down by things that could have been fixed with a search on Yahoo.com" Toby yelled.  
  
CJ reached the brink and started to cry out of frustration and anger.  
  
"I can't do this. I'm leaving."  
  
"Fine, let's discuss it tonight," Toby said, grateful for a cooling off period.  
  
"No Toby, I can't do this, us, I can't be with you. I love you more than anything, but I love myself and my self worth more. If you can't support me with issues at work, then how can I expect you to support me in my life?" CJ said through her tears, barely holding herself together.  
  
While Toby stood there thunderstruck at the statement, CJ turned and left for her office. She covered her eyes from view of the staffers in the office. Most of them had witnessed the screaming match and tried to look busy when CJ left the Toby's office. Once CJ reached her office, she collapsed into a pile of tears and sobs on her couch. She had lost the love of her life again. She heard a quiet knock on her door. She quickly wiped away the tears as Carol opened the door to give her a glass of water and some Tylenol. Carol left CJ to collect herself. Carol silently hoped that everything would work itself out as it usually did.  
  
By six o'clock CJ had composed herself enough to take care of the Robbins quote and put a full lid on the press for the day. She was ready to go home and drown her sorrows in a glass of wine and some briefing memos. However, when CJ reached her office, she was surprised to find the First Lady lounging on her couch.  
  
"Dr. Bartlet, it is nice to see you. Why are you here?"  
  
"I heard about the little tiff between you and Toby this afternoon. I thought maybe you needed someone to talk to," the First Lady replied, looking genuinely concerned.  
  
CJ started to cry again at the very mention of Toby. Abbey got up to hug CJ and bring her down to the couch.  
  
"The wedding's off. I told him that I couldn't be with someone who couldn't support me during the difficult times," CJ sobbed.  
  
"CJ, men can be jackasses when they are angry at the woman they love. They will say things that they will instantly regret. But they are too proud to admit that they screwed up. The President does it. But if he really loves you, as I suspect Toby does, he'll come around," Abbey confided, knowing exactly what CJ needed to hear.  
  
"I don't know, ma'am, we both said some pretty hurtful things to one another. I don't think he'll back down, you know how Toby likes to hold onto a principle."  
  
"CJ, have a little faith in him and your relationship," Abbey said, patting CJ on the shoulder before leaving the office.  
  
***  
  
Toby packed up and got ready to head back to his apartment. He wasn't sure whether CJ would be there or not. He wasn't even sure if he wanted her to be there or not. The day had started on such a high note. They were in the final stages of planning the wedding and now all that preparation could have been for naught. He had royally screwed up when the Robbins quote had been revealed. But he also knew that he was right. The reporter shouldn't have even been allowed to ask the question. Toby was upset all over again. He needed a stiff drink and some sleep. Just as he had closed the door to his office, Leo met him at his doorway.  
  
"Hey, Toby can I talk to for a minute?" Leo asked.  
  
"Sure. I was just wrapping up," Toby replied as Leo walked toward his office.  
  
Once they got to Leo's office, Leo shut the door.  
  
"Toby, why on earth would you yell at her three weeks before your wedding?" Leo asked in disbelief.  
  
"Does everyone know about that?" Toby replied with equal disbelief.  
  
"Toby, you were heard all the way to the Oval Office. I'm not sure if you are aware or not, but your voice has the tendency to carry in these halls."  
  
"The President knows?"  
  
"Yes the President knows. He was the one who suggested that I have this meeting with you. He felt that there were some things that you should know. Think of it as a wedding gift."  
  
"That's if there is a wedding."  
  
"I have faith in you and her. You've both been through a number of trials to get to where you are today; I'm sure that one screw-up by you is not enough to ruin the relationship.although I wouldn't bet on it."  
  
"The reporter should never been allowed to ask the question, Leo. It was bad research on our part and hurt us."  
  
"I know Toby, but yelling at your fiancée is not going to solve anything. It was a poor job from all sides, but it has been fixed now; it's time to move on."  
  
"I know, but I don't think she'll let me. I treated her like she was an amateur and was completely unsupportive of her predicament. There is no way she'll take me back."  
  
"Toby, you are talking to man who is living out of hotel because he was stupid enough to think that his job was the only thing. I don't want to see you make the same mistakes that I did with Jenny. Just talk to her. If she really loves you, she'll understand. And she really loves you, I can see it in her eyes," Leo says with a smile creeping across his face at the end.  
  
"Men are jackasses, Toby," a voice from behind said.  
  
Toby turned around to find the President standing in the doorway. He was wearing a Notre Dame sweatshirt and had obviously turned in for the evening.  
  
"And we are too proud to admit it," Bartlet continued.  
  
"Sir," Toby replied as he started to stand up, before being waved off by Bartlet, "with all due respect, I was completely inconsiderate of her feelings."  
  
"I know, but she'll forgive you because she loves you; just like my wife forgives me because she loves me."  
  
Toby let the smallest of smiles crept across his face. He hoped that Leo and the President were right, but he didn't know when he would be able to tell CJ how sorry he was. She probably had checked herself into some hotel somewhere and the apartment would be empty. Toby figured that his apologies would have to wait until morning. Toby thanked both Leo and the President before leaving to go home.  
  
When Toby opened the door, he could see the soft glow of the TV. CJ had come home instead of checking herself in at a hotel. He turned the corner to see her huddled up on the sofa in the living room. She was lying in darkness underneath a knitted afghan. Several manila folders were scattered around her feet. She had been watching some old black and white film with the sound muted. Even in the darkness, Toby could see that she had been crying. Her face was puffy and dried tears had left trails upon her cheeks. Her eyes were closed and she probably had dozed off.  
  
Toby gently set down his stuff and tiptoed up to the couch. He sat down beside her and softly pushed some errant strands away from her face. She looked perfectly at peace. In that moment, all of his anger and fear melted away; he realized that she really did love him and that everything would hopefully be all right.  
  
***  
  
Beep! Beep! Beep!  
  
CJ groaned as she rolled over to shut off the alarm clock. She looked at the time and rolled the other direction to stir Toby from his slumber, in case the alarm didn't wake him up. He had come home that night and apologized profusely for his behavior earlier that day. But when she rolled over, she found the other side of the bed made. She started to panic thinking that everything that had been a dream. Was she really engaged? Just as she was looking at her finger to see if her ring was still there, Toby emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He immediately noticed that she had a look of panic on her face.  
  
"Ceej, what's wrong?" he asked concerned sitting down beside her on the bed.  
  
CJ smiled, pulled him for a deep kiss and embrace, and said, "Nothing Toby, just my imagination running away with me."  
  
THE END 


End file.
